Greatness

Right now I’m sitting here at 3 in the morning….I haven’t been to sleep yet and I usually don’t write/type unless something is bothering me or I have a lot on my mind……well I have a lot on my mind and no one to tell…….I’m listening to over my head by the fray…..great song if you haven’t heard it I highly recommend it…….sometimes I really hate me….there have been times where I’d give anything to be anywhere other than here or to be anybody other than myself…..well I’ve been told a lot here lately that I am a sweet person…..which I’d agree that I am unless I don’t wanna be……I have so many problems of my own and I open myself up to make other peoples problems my own just so they will feel better…..why would someone do that???? Maybe the fact that I’m used to feeling sad, used, unhappy, unwanted, not loved, and so on that it doesn’t bother me…..I’m lost and I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have anybody to pick me up when I fall…..I’m free falling…….WILL I EVER LAND????? Why is it when everything comes tumbling down it never stops…..I hate to see other people feel like I do…..and the sad thing is if you were to see me everyday you’d barley be able to tell that anything is bothering me….somehow I manage to smile every single day…..yeah I’m way over my head……I’m so bad off I don’t’ know which way is up or anything…..I don’t know that much but I know that I don’t wanna be the stupid girl anymore and I don‘t wanna miss out on what could have been, ya know….when is it time to stop waiting for those could have beens…..I wanna be great……I don’t’ think that’s too much to ask for…..and I know I can be great….I was born to be great………………..at something